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Anti-virus
and Computer Security
by The F@t Guy |
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The Tourist- Staying out of the seedy side of town. |
The "Tourist" Being from the Wild, Wild West, I see alot of tourists. They are painfully easy to pick out of a crowd, you know. The locals just look... well... local, and any who don't look local are immediately considered "tourists". I suppose I would be the same way in a big-city... gawking at the skyscrapers just like the hick I am. Anyone who sticks out that much, anyone who is obviously from out-of-town make for a good "mark" for the local thugs and hawkers. It isn't that these folks are actually stupid, or gullible. It is just that they are woefully out of their element, and are blissfully unaware of it. Not that they all are, mind you. Anyone from a mountain state or province tends to fit in well here (other than license plates), having the same Western/Mountain drawl and clothes, and tend toward local haunts rather than the touristy traps by nature (they all have the same touristy traps in their town too). They are, for all intensive porpoises, unrecognizable from the natives, and are therefore not a "mark" for the thugs. We'll call these folks "Visitors" rather than "Tourists"... There's another whole batch: Blue-collar folk from the cities, country-folk from the Mid-western farmlands, the South, and the South-Western deserts, who are definitely out of their element and immediately spotted as tourists; But their respective cultures are compatible with ours... They naturally just "know most of the ropes" as it were, because they were raised in much the same way as folks are here. While out of their element, they are aware of the fact, admit the fact, ask for specific help from the locals, and proceed with caution. These are welcomed as a type of distant "kin", taken under wing, and steered away from the attractiveness of the touristy stuff and guarded from the thugs- Their occasional faux-pas would be overlooked or corrected politely, as they would do for me if I were in their town. These are not "tourists" per se, so are promoted to "Visitors" as well. But God help the "Tourist", cuz no one else will. He thinks that since he read all the tourism board pamphlets that he is an expert on all things Montana. He thinks that since he bought a ten dollar factory-shaped straw hat to wear with his green Hawaiian shirt, store-bought brown shorts, black socks and loafers, that he "fits in". He is inordinately proud of his gigantic motor-home, but has absolutely no idea how to herd it down a narrow two-lane mountain pass. He has more money than everybody, is therefore "better", and haughtily believes he knows better than us about everything from animal husbandry and conservation to gun-control and forestry. Stupid hicks. The point I am getting at (in my normal round-about way): Look at the internet in the same way you would when visiting another place, perhaps a town in a distant state or country. There is a definite culture, way different than you are used to. There are vast vistas of scenery, a wonderful downtown area with all sorts of institutional attractions: huge shopping centers and malls, libraries, zoos and museums. But there's a gaudy strip full of tourist traps too, and the seedy, across-the-tracks part of town as well. And there's lots of folks. Most are probably alot like you- just normal joes going about their business, but there are thugs and hawkers too, just like there is anywhere. You must be careful when in a strange place. Now, if you are new in town, and you stick your head out your door at the Motel 6, there is probably alot of stuff you'd recognize. There's a Wally World, there's a K-Marche', there's a Mac's Diner... Places like these are the same everywhere. I am sure you would be quite comfortable walking right into any one of these in your strange new town, wouldn't you? You could be confident of what you'll find there, they are the same, no matter where you go... Maybe you need some stamps for your post cards... You would feel pretty safe going to the post office, eh? Yep, the government is much the same everywhere... sad to say, but you can be pretty sure of yourself at any post office or library. What about the BIG venues, though, the ones you came to see? Places like the national parks, the theme parks, the zoos and museums, the malls and plazas? They are a bit touristy, but you would expect that- but they are in business to make you want to come back- so generally these would be no different than anywhere else... offering the same ol' chunked and formed "hotel-hospitality" that you have grown to expect from such places. These types of places are exactly what you'd expect them to be on the internet as well- For the beginner who is trying to learn the ropes, he can feel pretty confident that he will not be accosted by anything more dangerous than a cookie or two. The major stores, news outlets, government sites, parks, museums, manufacturers, and so on are all most probably FINE. It's the "See the World's Biggest Ball of Earwax" places that you really have to watch out for. Just like real life tourist traps, Internet tourist traps try to attract your eye... bouncy things, blinky things, free, Free, FREE!!! You know the schtick- And we're all susceptable to it at first, just as we are prone to the touristy stuff in a strange town. These kinds of places don't rely on their reputation (in fact they prefer you don't know their reputation). They will often pack up and leave in the middle of the night and set up in the next town under a different name, like they do in real life. The Red light district is another place to avoid. As in real life, there's no telling what strange diseases you'll wind up with if you participate in the brothels and gambling dens of the internet. There are muggers in every alley, too. Go there if you like, but you are on your own. Like in real life, it's a bad place to be, just like your Mamma told you. But what about the big, gray, squishy, middle? The stuff that isn't a "big venue" but isn't exactly "tourist trap"? Just like our strange town, the flavor of the town isn't in the big venues, and it certainly isn't on the strip (well, Vegas, mebbe). It's the greasy-spoon around the corner where the locals gather. It's the out-of-the-way fishin' hole. It's a walk down a quiet residential sidewalk, waiving at the folks sitting on the porch. That's where you'll find a taste of the town. How do you find the good places like these? Just like in a strange town, you need one of the locals to show you around. Maybe you have a friend who is an internet veteran, which would be the best scenario... Not necessarily a guru, mind you, but one who has been around awhile and can help you out. That would be like knowing someone in your new town who lives there and will take you on as a guest. How nice that would be, to have someone to guide the tour. Perhaps that isn't available to you, though. Maybe you are on your own and must find things out for yourself. That just means you have to approach a "local" and ask about things, which usually means finding a forum where you can ask your questions... Either way. you wind up "asking the locals", dontcha? This is a really important thing to know, and it is exactly as it would be in that strange town: Just wandering around aimlessly will (with an utmost certainty) land you in a bad part of town. That is just how it works... I don't know why, but it is true. Every novice's box that passes through the PIT of DOOOOM!!! has the same "free icons", "free recipes", "internet pets", "desktop weather/time gizmos", "free games", and etcetera, and are filled to overflowing with every kind of spyware, adware and virus that one could possibly have. It is really kinda funny (odd, not ha-ha). They are drawn as inexorably to the flashy, bouncy, blinky internet tourist traps as the tourists are drawn to them in every freeway-town in real life. They are not cautious travelers. Sure, they read the pamphlets that came in the computer carton, but that has never been enough- not ever, in anything, in any way. Pamphlets suck, ya know? They need to have a calloused eye, and ask for directions from the locals: Look for help pages (such as these). Try to understand the web and the computer before you head out in earnest. Look for pages built specifically for novices (look for Newbie, Noob, Noobie). They are all over the place. Even when you master one thing, such as "surfing from a search engine", find other help to break you into the next thing you'd like to know, such as e-mail or instant messaging... the learning goes on. Wonder BEFORE you wander. Find a forum or two and just hang out (called lurking). There are forums for everything under the sun. Often you don't even need to ask a question, but just absorb the stuff that others have asked before you. Often you can find out alot about a software before you even download it by just visiting the software's dedicated forum. Sooner or later, though, your inquiry will lead you to pose a question, be it in a forum or tech support e-mail: Remember what I said up at the start of all this about Locals, Visitors, and Tourists? Can you see where I am going here? If you are a novice at computing/internet, you are _NOT_ one of the "locals", you can bet on that. The locals will barely lay eyes on you and they will know for sure that you aren't "born-and-raised". That's a fact. The "Visitors from other Mountain Towns" folks would be those of one specialty looking into another- Like a guy who is really into digital movies trying to figure out the best way to implement digital music... These folks do already fit in, as in the analogy above, so are quite acceptable to the music community they are inquiring from. Unless you are one of these, don't try to pass yourself off as such. Hopefully you'll be like the out-of-towner who is aware of his shortcomings and inquires specifically and politely, taking correction at the occasional faux-pas, and learning as you go- Most folks will gladly give you a hand, just as it should be. I said "hopefully" because if you are not one of the three already mentioned, that only leaves one other choice... Whatever you do... Don't be a TOURIST! -TFG    |
